


Protect, Serve and Pump

by BergaraHoe (flannelfeelings)



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Amy Santiago, Babies, Breastfeeding, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Dad Jake Peralta, Death Threats, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Guns, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago - Freeform, Mac Peralta - Freeform, Mac is 2 ish months old, Mentions of Suicide, Mom Amy Santiago, New mom Amy Santiago, Post birth, Protective Jake Peralta, Sweet jake peralta, Takes place after Lights Out, The 99, Threats, Working mom guilt, Worried Jake Peralta, amy santiago - Freeform, baby mac, brief mentions of smut, criminals, from the criminal not any main cast, jake peralta - Freeform, takes place after 7x13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23888626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flannelfeelings/pseuds/BergaraHoe
Summary: Amy Santiago has never been more excited to get back to work. Finally, her maternity leave is over and she can finally begin to feel like herself again after becoming a new mom.However, on her first day back, Amy is reminded the hard way that the danger of being a cop, doesn't end because you're a parent.In fact, it may actually be worse.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 10
Kudos: 99





	Protect, Serve and Pump

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen/written tons of baby fluff soo here's some angst to ruin the fun times
> 
> but happy ending!!
> 
> please enjoy and lmk ur thoughts!

Amy Santiago had her most severe case of FOMOW (fear of missing out on work) in the months following the birth of her son Mac. She loved that kid more than anything- more than binders, more than voluntary seminars, more than helping civilians. But she missed work. She missed leading a team, she missed adult conversations, she missed cracking a difficult case and rejoicing at the prospect of helping people by putting a bad guy away.

She allowed herself to feel those feelings, miss work and being around her colleagues (particularly Jake, who’d gone back to work a month before her) while still putting all of her love and energy into time with her son. She hated to admit it, since it was a tale as old and cliche as time, but she felt guilty. Should her thoughts be all-consumed with love and attention for her baby? Should she be thinking about racing down the sidewalk and tackling a perp? -Something she hadn’t done in almost a year due to her pregnancy and subsequent maternity leave.-

Should she really be looking forward to leaving her baby home with Jake while she went in for her first day back? Was she a bad mother for waking up with vigor at the sound of her alarm clock, and pulling on her old -well, technically new; she’d gained a few pounds since pre-pregnancy and needed to up her standard uniform size- sergeants uniform?

It was Jake’s day off, therefore he’d be watching Mac by himself until Amy’s shift was over. She was a little worried about that, not that she didn’t trust Jake and obviously he’d been alone with the baby plenty of times, but the thought of being away from Mac for that long made her nervous.

Jake tried to comfort her over breakfast as Amy pumped milk for Mac and ate the pancakes he’d made them, “I understand babe, it was really hard for me to go back too. I’ll call you every few hours and send lots of pictures, okay?”

Amy smiled at Jake’s thoughtfulness, but the truth was, it _wasn’t_ that hard. Sure, she had normal jitters about leaving her baby, and she would definitely miss him, but more than anything, she was really excited to get back to work. Though, how could she say that to Jake, who was so obsessed with getting home to see her and their baby that he’d left shifts an hour early at least once a week for the past month?

_Something is wrong with me._..she thought as she shoveled more pancakes into her mouth with a frown. Jake noticed her tension, walking around the table to massage her shoulders gently, which brought a satisfied moan from her lips as she leaned into the touch. The whirring of the breast pump faded out of her ears, and the sounds of Mac cooing from his swing were replaced with only the feeling of her husband’s hands on her.

God those six weeks of not being able to have sex had really gotten to her. As exhausted as they both were, it was still insanely hard to refrain from jumping each other's bones until she was fully healed. She’d even suggested ignoring the doctor’s orders (something very out of character for her) but Jake reminded her that her hormones were raging and did not have her best interests at heart. He was right of course, but she wished he wasn’t.

When they’d finally been able to be intimate, it was like their first night together all over again. He took extra care to be gentle, considerate, showing her just how much he still loved her body and found her incredibly sexy. He’d asked her if she was okay more times that one night than he had their whole relationship, but she didn’t mind. If anything, it only spurred her lust on to be reminded how much he loved her.

Which is the thought that carried her through breakfast, her goodbye to Mac, and the commute to the precinct. Jake could never think she was a bad mother, right? Even if she told him how she was feeling, he’d understand, wouldn’t he?

She hoped. But she definitely didn’t feel confident enough to share it with him either way.

As she entered the precinct she was greeted by a barrage of hoots and hollers from her subordinates, as well as her old squad at the nine-nine, who were all waiting by her desk. Charles had baked her a welcome back cake, that was thankfully normal cake and not made of goat intestines. It was delicious and she was incredibly grateful for the thought. Rosa hugged her tight and gave her gruff acknowledgement, and Terry asked several questions about how Mac was doing, though he’d been by the apartment to visit often. Captain Holt greeted her with a kind, firm hug and told her it was great to have her back, which had her blinking away tears.

Before she knew it, she was back in the swing of things. Handling her squad’s schedules, getting briefed on open cases and questions about strategy. She was walking on air.

To her shame, she was so busy that she completely forgot about Jake and Mac until lunchtime, when she received a photo of the two of them on the couch.

Jake was shirtless, still practicing skin-to-skin contact with the two-month old. Mac laid across his chest, curled up with nothing but his _Ninja Turtles_ blanket draped over the both of them. The caption read: _'Lil Santiago couldn’t hang. fell asleep ten minutes into Die Hard2. takes after mommy 4 sure'_

Amy grinned, replying: ' _Maybe he just has good taste.'_

_'miss you lots, so imma let that slide_ ,' came Jake’s returning text, and then, ' _how u feeling Mama?'_

Just as she was about to respond that she missed him too, and was feeling great, a noise got her attention. Someone was standing at her desk.

“Hi.” she set her phone down, smiling at the man who’d just walked off the elevator over to her, “How can I help you?"

“You don’t remember me?” Came the gruff reply.

Amy quirked an eyebrow up cautiously, standing from her chair as she glanced around the bustling precinct, before replying, “Should I?”

He scoffed and his shoulders stiffened. Amy studied his face for a moment more, before her eyes widened with recognition. He’d grown a beard and his hair was shaggier, but she recognized the features underneath the scraggly hair.

“Tony Carver. I arrested you seven years ago on a cocaine bust.” her voice was low as she started to piece together what was happening. Her hand slowly reached for her hip, where her gun was holstered for the first time in two months.

“Ah!” he hissed, drawing a small handgun from his coat and pointing it at her gut, “Not another move, sargeant.”

Amy raised her palms placatingly, “Alright Tony. Let’s talk about it, okay?”

“Nothing to _talk_ about!” Tony hissed, hand trembling on the hilt of the weapon that was still stealthily hidden behind his coat so no one else could see, “You’re gonna come with me.”

“I really don’t wanna tell you what kind of sentence shooting an NYPD sergeant would get you.” She warned him seriously, “If you put the gun down now, you can make this a lot easier on yourself.”

“Put your gun on the desk.” he snapped, pulling his own gun out fully and pressing the barrel against her forehead. He looked around at the uniformed officers and shouted, “Nobody moves or I shoot your sargeant!”

Shocked faces froze around her, and she called out to her squad, “It’s alright. Do what he says.”

“I’m going to remove my gun.” She told him calmly, though the panic that leaked into her veins at the sight of his finger fluttering over the trigger made her want to cry, “I am taking it off my belt, placing it on my desk.” She moved slowly as she did what he’d instructed. As she set the gun down, she noticed another buzz on her phone.

**JAKE PERALTA:** _I know ur busy sarge. hope ur doing ok, we love u!_

Suddenly, all she could think about was Mac. It took everything she had to blink away the wetness in her eyes and focus on the perp with the gun to her head. Her aching chest reminded her that she needed to pump in ten minutes. She couldn’t die, her baby needed her. Her husband needed her.

She shouldn’t have come back. She was so fucking excited...and now look. She might not ever make it home to see them again.

“Now, we’re gonna walk out of here.” Tony instructed, “While I hold this gun to your head.” he raised his voice to call out to the other officers, “If anybody tries anything, I will blow her brains out!”

He started leading her toward the elevator, and Amy had no choice but to walk with him as he held the gun to the back of her head. She knew before the elevator doors even closed that her squad immediately jumped into action. They wouldn’t make it out of the building. They would have officers at the front door ready to apprehend Tony.

The only question was, could they do it without getting her killed?

“So this is revenge?” she asked as the elevator made an agonizingly slow descent, “I put you away, now I’m gonna get mine?”

“You didn’t just put me away.” he growled, “You killed my fucking wife.”

Amy frowned, turning to him with confusion before he pressed the gun harder into her head and she stilled, “Okay. How exactly-”

“I was locked up for six years. I had a two year old little girl…” he grimaced, shaking his head, “One day my wife and kid stopped visiting. And I find out my wife killed herself, and our baby is living out of state with her grandma. I’m not even allowed to see her! My own daughter!”

Amy bit back a sharp reply about maybe _not_ dealing cocaine, and simply said, “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“No you’re not you fucking pig.” Tony snarled, “I spent every day after that thinking about how I could get justice. This is all _your_ fault. Imagine my surprise when I find out that you just had a baby yourself. It didn’t take much asking around to figure out you were on maternity leave, and would be coming back this month. I canvased the precinct every day for the past month until finally, your car was here. Couple times I thought it was you, but ended up just walking by that goofy looking husband of yours. Would’ve got him too, but you’re my real target.” He chuckled once, “it’ll be much better to know you’re going to die and leave them behind. Just like my wife.”

Before she could reply, the elevator doors _dinged_ open and they were greeted with a wall of officers in vests, guns trained. She noticed the familiar faces of Charles, Rosa and Terry in the line, and her breath unhitched just a little.

“Not another step.” Terry’s authoritative voice came from the line of officers.

Tony shrugged, “Go ahead, shoot me. She’ll have a bullet in her head before you fire off the first round.”

“What’s your plan?” Rosa growled, “You have to know you can’t leave this precinct.”

“Here’s the deal.” Tony replied harshly, “I walk Sargeant Santiago out of here, nobody shoots me, and she’ll live long enough to call her husband and tell him she’ll never see him or their kid again.”

Suddenly, Amy remembered that her alarm to pump should be going off right about now. Her chest hurt sure, but she could probably go another fifteen before the urge really got painful and she couldn’t wait. However, it gave her an idea.

“ _Oooh, my boobs…”_ she groaned, doubling over and grabbing her chest in mock pain.

Tony was confused for a moment, just enough time for Charles and Rosa to surge forward and attack him, wrestling the gun from his hands. They roughly threw him against the wall outside the elevator, cuffing him harshly before handing him off to a uniformed officer for processing.

Amy stepped out of the elevator, finally allowing herself to take in a deep breath as her coworkers surrounded her worriedly.

“I’m okay.” she assured them with a slight grimace, “I really do need to pump though.”

* * *

“Where is she?!”

Amy could hear the shouts even from the privacy of the break room, where she was just finishing up filling the bottles she’d brought to freeze for Mac. She sighed gently. Captain Holt informed her once she’d gotten out of the elevator that Jake had been called as soon as Tony took her off the floor. She’d had just enough time to escape to the break room and pump in private before she heard his voice barreling into the precinct.

She could hear a muffled reply from one of the uniforms, and then the door burst open, and Jake was in the doorway.

Wordlessly, they both crossed the room and their bodies clashed together. Jake’s arms wrapped around her and squeezed her so tight it made her cough. Then, he pulled away and his eyes searched her face and body for any sign of injury, hands simultaneously combing all over her as if to make sure nothing was missing.

“Where’s Mac?” she asked weakly, before he could say anything.

Jake ran a hand over his face with agitation, “He’s safe. I dropped him off with Sharon and the girls on the way here. I-I didn’t want to bring him here after something like this. I was afraid.”

“Good.” Amy nodded with relief, “Good, Jake.”

“Jesus Ames.” Jake shook his head and pulled her close again, burying his face in her neck. She could feel his hands shaking and his eyes were red rimmed.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, feeling incredible agony over the fact that she’d caused him so much stress.

He pulled away, brows contorting in a small, confused frown, “Why are _you_ sorry?”

Amy ran her fingers through her hair, sighing as she nervously paced in a small circle, “I almost died. I almost didn’t come home to you guys.”

“Amy, god, it’s not your fault. You _know_ it’s not your fault, right?”

She couldn’t meet his eyes, but shame leaked into her voice as she spoke, “Jake- I was so excited to come back to work. I mean, I miss Mac of course, but I couldn’t wait to get here and get back into the thick of things. I was so eager, I came back so soon…” she shook her head, “and Mac almost paid the price for my selfishness. He’s only two months old and I’m already failing him as a mother.” She could feel unshed tears from the stress of the day and the bottled up emotions threatening her cheeks.

“Amy Santiago.” In a moment, Jake had taken her biceps and spun her around to face him. His expression was shocked, he seemed dumbfounded by the idea of her doubting herself. Which was ridiculous; she did it constantly.

“That is the most insane thing I’ve ever heard.” He shook his head, still disbelieving, “You are the _best_ mother I have ever met. Our son will never know how lucky he is. You gave birth in the precinct with no pain meds, after leading the entire division. You have taken to being a mom so smoothly, you know when he’s hungry or just needs comfort, you are so selfless and giving. You operate with the grace of a Queen even on no sleep.” He shook his head, blinking at her, “I can’t believe you could ever think anything less of yourself. I’m amazed by you more and more each day.”

“But if I hadn’t been so eager to come back to work-“

He leaned in so their foreheads were pressed together, effectively cutting her off, “You are _not_ selfish for missing work. You’re an incredible police sergeant and this city needs you. I am so happy that you love your job enough to miss it when you’re gone. I am so happy you’re fulfilled in your career. And the fact that you handle that on top of being the most amazing Mommy to our son, just takes my breath away.” He let out a long breath for effect, smiling softly, “Ames, scary stuff like this is _always_ gonna happen. Unfortunately, it’s part of being a cop. You and I both know that. It’s not your fault, and there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent it. You handled it like the badass you are, and we’re both still standing here. That’s what matters.”

She was nodding before he even finished, his comforting words wrapping around her like a soothing balm. He always knew just what to say to settle her anxieties. She still had her doubts and feelings of guilt, but Jake was right. She had an important job, and she was grateful he understood that in a way someone of another profession (and less of a wonderful man) might not.

“I love you so much.” She breathed, pulling him in for an intense, passionate kiss.

After a few moments, they pulled away, and Jake murmured, “if it means I get a kiss like _that_ , maybe we should call Tony back in here.”

Amy punched him in the bicep playfully, but chuckled with relief as she wiped tears away from her eyes. It felt good to laugh after the horrifying moments she’d just experienced.

“I love you too, by the way.” Jake said softly, “I…. I was really terrified.”

Amy’s brows softened with worry, “I’m sorry. I know it must’ve been awful to get that call. I don’t know what I’d do if I was home with Mac and got that call.”

“That’s just gonna be a territory we’ll have to learn to navigate.” Jake replied a bit sadly, “But the important thing is you’re okay, we’re okay, and Mac’s okay.”

“Can we go pick him up?” She asked, needing to see and hold her son now more than ever.

Jake's brows shot up in surprise, “Wow, you still have a few hours of your shift left. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you here today, but is Amy Santiago really leaving work early?”

Amy grinned, “Yes I am. I’m grateful to be alive. I need to get home and hold my son. There’s always tomorrow for my first full day back.”

“There sure is. Let’s go Mama.” Jake walked toward the couch and collected the breast pump and bottles of milk, holding his free hand out for Amy to take.

“I love you, Jake.” Amy said again as they exited the break room and headed across the precinct floor.

“And I love you.”

Amy stopped them short as they neared the elevator, frowning with displeasure.

Jake looked at her with understanding. “Scene of the crime.” He said softly.

She shuddered, “Let’s take the stairs.”

“Last one to the lobby changes Mac’s after dinner diaper!” Jake taunted as he peeled off in the direction of the stairwell.

“Oh not a _chance_ Peralta!” She cried as she took off in pursuit.

It may not be chasing a perp down a busy street, but running after Jake through the precinct, frantic to win a competition, felt like she’d fallen right back into the old days.

Things would get back to normal, she just had to be patient. Luckily, she had Jake by her side to go through it all with her.


End file.
